so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
