idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
foreskin is a definite game changer
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
