True but thats because hes a fetus.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
