We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
