my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
