Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Buhtt sex?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
