i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize