you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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