Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
