Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
