i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I didn't notice because vodka
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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