i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
