dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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