Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
