I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize
