i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
