Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He shit in the fireplace
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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