she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
