.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
