I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
