we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
