took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
