first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
