When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
