i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
