i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
