i don't like sucking hair
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
