You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Someone came in the potted fern
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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