I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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