help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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