i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
These tits shall not be calmed
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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