Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize