Whatcha textin bout Willis?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
