I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
operation have a gay friend backfired
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
