you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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