Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
