Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
