Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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