She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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