Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize