OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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