it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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