Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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