Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The best revenge is premature balding
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
