i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
3pm strippers are depressing
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
