felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
