Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
