he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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