It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
