hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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