I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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