Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Be still, my beating vagina.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
