Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
