I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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