i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I woke up under a house in Key West
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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