Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm really busy with my period
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