The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
