Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
