how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
