dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
